mummy & me date: Ollie

Brave and I took ourselves off for a date together a couple of weekends ago.

He had heard about my date with True awhile back and really wanted to go to the Plaster FunHouse too.

We had a ball.

just before we left...

stopping to get a bite to eat…found a car ride on the way

i love this kid

not too old for PDA yet!

Brave choose a motorbike to paint

this kid never gets sick of a good old pose

Brave concentrated SO hard on his painting

The recent lost tooth + chocolate face = love

First up we took ourselves to devour something chocolate (Brave's request) and found a car ride on the way. Brave chatted away and got well and truly stuck into his treats. We had so much fun together just painting…he got quiet and concentrated with all his heart on his motorbike creation. He picked out a rainbow with a heart for me which I went to town with sparkles and all things girly (!)

When we got home again we had just had the loveliest time together. Lots of chats, lots of cuddles, lots of painting, lots of eating.

I could hang out with this boy all day.

Love you Brave! Thanks for the date!

friday afternoon my way

Feels surreal.

I am at home with my three guys. But there's no one else here with me! Just little old me!

I tell you it's thrilling.

Has it been long since I've experienced the heady power of being the sole adult in charge of the three people I birthed and breastfed, clothed and nurtured? 

Just about 9 months I reckon.

The fact that they are all currently banished to separate rooms of the house due to rowdy behaviour, and have been told to read quietly on their beds or play with lego somehow hasn't dampened my mood. Nor has the teensiest bit of stern talking (read: yelling) I mustered to get them to stay put.

No. Being in charge, being alone here without a chaperone to watch over me is awesome.

The tide has turned in my treatment. The last few months have held a scary pain crisis, two separate hospital stays, a change in chemo, Huz taking a few months off to look after me, and my beautiful sister rushing her entire family home from Turkey to be with me.

And now here I am doing much much better. 

By much better I mean I am here. Alive. Alive and thanks to an easier chemo actually able to get out of bed and be me!

It's a milestone.

And so here I am, doing it my way, after months and months of many hands helping me, and although I know this is a season, and all seasons have a way of changing, I am so thankful for this little piece of 'normal', this little moment of my old life back.

Thanks God.

And all day I've been pottering with Soul, in and out to the garden and back, babying the new plants I have just put in, sorting and bagging up old clothing for the boys now it's the change of season, and just kind of nesting. 

Then there's that dark corner of my heart that taunts me to consider the why of all this nesting, this preparation, this organising and tidying and putting right…and no, I won't go to that dark corner today, not when it's my day to be me, not when the sun won't stop shining, and my lavender is blooming, and the children's voices are scheming a new game to play. 

I won't go to that dark corner that taunts the steady closing in of the end of me, the end of all of this life, this beautiful and big life. Not today. 

Today, I did it my way.