Dear Brave
Tomorrow you are turning 5 years old. And in your words, 'What the hecka?'
Your little baby self is in my minds eye-so little, very petite, deep eyes peering back at me, and a persistent cry reminding me that you are really the boss now that you have arrived.
You have always had spark. An attitude of defiance sometimes, and a straight forward unapologetic view of yourself and the world. Love that.
You play hard and then crash. I've not ever seen one of the other boys fall asleep in about 12 seconds flat as soon as their head hits the pillow like you do.
When you come in with your little lips pursed to kiss my cheek first thing in the morning, or your cheeky grin (with that dimple I love) tempting me to just scoop you up for a cuddle. Your cuddles are better than medicine. They heal.
And so the dressing up continues with True. You now have your own crazy schemes and plot outlines to contribute, and the giggling and the silliness ramps up even at 6.30am, and gets me all hot under the collar as Dad and i try to steal maybe just a few more minutes sleep. And then I listen in to the banter, and I can't stay mad, can't even wish you'd be quiet, because the two of you together have the strongest bond, the deepest love for each other, and the desperate need to hang out all the time.
You love animals with passion. We used to say that you 'loved too hard' Brave. But it's changing, and you are loving with a sweetnesss in place of the hard squeeze it used to be, and Galahad likes you. We have been wanting to get you a dog. We will, because I sense it will be one of your 'happy places' in life. One of the things God has gifted you with.
Tomorrow we have Granny & Gramps, Aunty A (back from Turkey for 10 days) Aunty S, and Nana & Grandad coming at 7.30am for a birthday pancake breakfast. You are excited about opening presents, and I am exited about seeing you gorge down your maple syrup and pancakes and be celebrated and gets lots of cuddles and to tell you how glad we are you are here in our family, how we wouldn't want it any other way, how you being here is sunshine and joy and funny sayings, and smelly pops and asking you again and again if you washed your hands after visiting the bathroom, and you are loved Brave. You are deeply loved.
This weekend we have planned a 'space party' for you in Bonython Park. We have invited the whole class, and some special friends from church, and friends from far and wide are going to help cook and run games for you and basically just lavish love and attention on you Brave. Can't wait for you to have an amazing day.
It's always hard to put into concrete words what you boys mean to me. It's vast and it's hard to wrap it up like your presents and cards sitting on my dresser waiting to be given to you.
The words don't seem large enough, potent enough to spread out loud on this page...just in case you think that 'I love you' is just three words next to each other, and not the feeling of a thousand balloons being let up into the sky at the same time and littering the blue air with colour and joy and abandonment. You are colour and life and a spectrum of bold wonder to me Brave.
Love you Brave,
Love Mummy xx
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