Umm...not exactly accurate in my case!
After my initial infusion almost three weeks ago I was overcome with fatigue to the point of not lifting my head off my pillow for any extended length of time until day before the next infusion. Every fibre of my being felt deeply tired. With a HG count of 71 instead of 100 it made sense. However, for whatever reason the blood transfusion has been unable to keep my numbers up. Dr K thinks this is perhaps due to the cancer in my bone marrow, or perhaps some very slow internal bleeding somewhere (what the?) but whatever the case I have had two more transfusions to boot, and today am still knackered. Sigh.
Only two months ago I was racing the boys around, running my household, and getting stuck into life. I really am chained to my bed or the couch at the moment. Just such a sudden and unwelcome aspect.
Praying for a heart that is anchored in Jesus during this storm.
My daily work is to trust my Jesus. To not focus on the waves and the rising ocean, but to fix my eyes on Christ.
This is such hourly, minutely, secondly work. I fail and I fall and I struggle to get up and trust Him. With each appointment and with each day of exhaustion, and with each day of seeing my family get on with life without me it is WORK to trust, because I can't make any sense of this thing and there's hardly any respite.The difficult days are by far outweighing the easy and light days and so it is work to put aside my interpretation of my circumstance and look to Jesus and in the deepest place in my heart trust Him.
But it is my daily work, and i will keep on.
Glad God doesn't mind baby steps.
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| A trip on bikes to Glenelg the day before my treatment starts |
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| Heading off to a party my sweet friends threw for me |
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